SCREAMING ORGASM

There are two type of people reading this. 
1. Those who regularly read my posts (..when I do post)
2. Those who read "SCREAMING ORGASM" 
Perverts. 

I have experienced a screaming orgasm!!!


At Jamba Juice of course.

It's a wonderful drink. A little peachier than the Carribean Passion..but really good. 

But what's more exciting than the drink.. is asking the person behind the cash register. 

"Hello. Welcome to Jamba Juice. How can I help you?"
"Hi. I'd like...uhmm... (turning red).. hehehehe...." You lean in as close as you can and whisper, "Can I please get uhhmmm a regular uhhh screaming orgasm please...hehehehehehehehe."

It is also known as a Dirty Orgasm. 

Some of you may ask "How does Sam know this?" 
It is because of their Secret Menu of course. 




My next drink will be a Penis Shooter. :) 
What will your's be? 


I am a shark attack surviver!

My ChadWayne had two emergency medical training tests this week. I want to make sure he does his best because he will one day be the sole provider for our family. (hopefully!) 

So I decided that I would help him study by setting up an accident scene so he could act out what he would do! I was so pumped. 

1. Create an accident. 
2. Injury yourself.
3. Play dead/unconscious 
4. Wait. 

CAUTION: I look like a little boy. But I'm a girl. 
Promise.





In the words of Beyonce "I'm a survivor." 

Butt Face

ChadWayne says my face is soft, like a baby's bum. 
I have a butt face now. 
Thank you. 
Good thing I love him. 


We have a tree in our house. A REAL TREE ...made of vinyl of course. If you are a newlywed, definitely test the strength of your marriage with vinyl. This tree is at least 6 ft. tall by 3 ft. wide. And every leaf is individual. It did not want to stick to the wall. Frustration at the highest. Clearly, our marriage is stronger than ever because of our tree. 


I eat my own words

Today, I was accepted to the University of Utah. The same University I've said horrible things about, saying I'd never go there even if they paid me to. 


And now, I'm paying them. 

But I'm excited to continue my education...in English. Yes, I love English. Maybe I'll be a book editor or a publisher. Or a high school teacher, and if so, I want to be just like Mrs. Bonnie Larsen. (if you want a good laugh everyday, read her blog)

I called my parents to tell them the exciting news. My dad.. well.. he was very proud of me for going back to school..and for getting in. However, his heart breaks that I'll be attending the "dark side". My sister, Kenna, she freaked!! More than my dad. But she then congratulated me. I know they are proud of me and, hopefully, will still love me fully. :) 

I'm like blood. I'm blue inside but red outside. 

(I know, technically our blood isn't blue, it's just the veins, but humor me)



Our Home

After being in our home for almost a month.. here are the pictures our of lovely home!!!
 in the kitchen.. where I belong
 our little counter
 our pantry
 our entry way/hallway
 living room
 other side of living room
 our dining table 
 our darling bathroom
 guest room/office 
 guest room/office
 our bedroom
our closet


Thats our home!! We love it! 
Pictures taken by Chad Wayne

Kissing Cousins

Five years ago today, my dearest little cousin Trevor passed away. He was such a beautiful little boy! 

Never once was he angry that he was sick or in pain, but he took his cancer as just another trial in his life. He was so brave, so courageous. He loved our Heavenly Father and His Son. He loved the gospel. He cherished his family and held on to them with everything he had. He wanted nothing but happiness for his friends and family. 

He wanted the world to know that this gospel is 110% true. He was funny and a prankster, even when he wasn't feeling good. He hated but loved my kisses.

 He was amazing. He was happy until he entered the Kingdom. He is now the Lord's missionary in heaven, preaching to those who may not have been able to hear the gospel on this earth. Trevor is here with all of us. In our hearts and minds forever. 

He was the most handsome towards the end. His spirit shined through him. 
Forever Rest In Paradise Trev!! 





The Rich & Famous

This week.. I was both rich and famous. 
1. Rich. Chad recieved his school money. Yes, I know we have to pay them back, but it's nice, you know, to have more than $10 to our name. BOOM! 
2. It was my birthday. I became famous... amoung my friends. Fame is fame!! I'll take it. 

Chad was very wonderful to me on my birthday! Man do I love him. He's awesome. Amazing. 

I want to dedicate this posting my lovely sister McKenna who came down from Idaho to spend our birthdays together. Hey Madi! We miss you!

Well McKenna, she's our special sister. I'll give examples. 

1. Have you played the "5 Seconds" game? You are given a category and have to name three things related to that category in 5 seconds. Always play with Kenna if you want to just laugh at her. 

Me: Name three dwarves from Snow White? GO!
...1...
...2...
...3...
McKenna: SNOOPY!!!!

Me: Name three chinese dishes. GO!

...1...
...2...
...3...

McKenna: Taiwan!!

Keep in mind.. Kenna seems to only yell out one answer. One wrong answer. 

Me: Name three types of fish. GO!

...1...
...2...
...3...
McKenna: STAR FISH!!

2. Another thing she likes to tell boys is that she is a fan of "fire crotches." Boy are they extremely freaked out and confused when she realizes she meant to say"crotch rockets." (motorcycles for you oldies)

3. We were playing Scattergories. The letter was B. Kenna gets down to the word "companies". When it was time to read what eachother wrote for that category, Kenna wrote "blue". What company is named Blue? 
She thought it was companties. Like underwear. Blue Panties was Kenna's answer. 

I love Kenna. She's special. 
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